The Surry Hills Times can reveal a government probe into the exorbitant price of breakfast throughout Sydney’s East has been announced. The move comes after a groundswell of protest from Sydneysiders that saw an online petition signed by a staggering 2.3 million.
“There’s no way you can sit down to breakfast for under twenty bucks. Unless you drink water like a peasant” said Max, a 28 year old Surry Hills based researcher.
“Since when did sides cost $6? I can get a whole pack of bacon for that. It’s a travesty.”
Grahame Quinn a printer from the area said, “I’ve got a wife and two kids. We can’t walk out of a café in Sydney at breakfast for under $100! It’s sending us broke.”
The ICAC suspects a collusion between café owners not unlike petrol stations that resulted in Kevin Rudd’s failed ‘Petrol Watch’ scheme to monitor unreasonable and arbitrary price rises.
In recent months the price of breakfast has been linked to the inability of young people to enter the property market. Two weeks ago the Surry Hills Times revealed a government initiative to grow avocados in community gardens to assist young people with the price of Smashed Av.
Now, it seems those same breakfasts have been responsible for a plague of homelessness.
“The problem is, bacon is just too delicious. It’s addictive. It’s the ice of meat,” said Steven Rodgers, the homeless man featured.
“Angst. Fractured relationships. Homelessness. That’s the true price of breakfast in Sydney” said a despondent Rodgers.
“I used to own a thriving advertising agency. I started off with just Smashed Av on sourdough. Then I added a side of bacon for $6. Now look at me.”
The Surry Hills Times witnessed this young homeless girl in a park, whose addiction to Smashed Av has overtaken her life to the exclusion of all else.
Just watching her smash was heartbreaking.
(The journalist went on to offer the girl help but she bit his hand.)
The Royal Commission into the price of Sydney breakfast will continue for several months.
If you have a comment on the price of Sydney breakfast please contact the Surry Hills Times.
