Authorities are confused as to why Lime E bikes seem to have gone unscathed unlike other bike sharing schemes that resulted in a joyous mass annihilation.
The Surry Hills Times sat down with local hooligan Bob Cooper to get his thoughts:
“I don’t know man there’s something about the electronic bike I just dig. I don’t want to smash it to smithereens. Maybe it’s cuz it does it work for you, so it’s like a good mate who’ll carry case up hill or some shit like that.”
We spoke to a council member who was equally perplexed. “We genuinely thought they’d all be destroyed by now. We just can’t fathom why people are not throwing them into walls or pedestrian bridges.”
The previous iterations bike sharing: Reddy Go, oBike, Ofo and Mobike was a catastrophic failure, pressing some to suggest the whole thing was a psychological exercise to test just how violent we are as a nation. Others thought that the bikes themselves were offered as stress relief to the public for free.
One insider said, “The whole thing is way for people to let out their frustrations on inanimate objects as opposed to each other.”
Statistics reiterated that the introduction of bikes for hire coincided with a drop-in violent crime.
