It’s more important than ever to look busy. We all know that. That’s why the Surry Hills Times’ resident expert on cool is here to help, and with these simple tips you can give the impression you’re cool (read busy) in no time.
First things first: If you’re not perceived as being busy you will be socially ostracised.
Everyone in Sydney must, I repeat must, be busy at all times.
1: Whenever you make eye contact with someone immediately roll your eyes like you’re so busy that any human contact whatsoever is of critical annoyance to you.
2: When you’re walking down the street, or at a cafe make sure you exhale loudly and constantly like it’s all getting too much.
3: Walk as fast as you possibly can. If you walk at normal speed you will not be perceived as busy. Everyone looks busy when they walk fast, so this is a must.
4: Look at your phone and shake your head, like work is so demanding it’s taking up all of your time.
5: Do several things at once while walking. Eating while talking on the phone is a classic.
6: When you’re walking down the street stop walking mid-stride like you’ve forgotten something critical to tell someone. Fake an important phone call. When you talk, speak in a raised voice. Rub your forehead in frustration.
7: Look at your watch. Then roll your eyes and shake your head. You simply don’t have enough hours in the day.
8: Whenever you talk to anyone mention how busy you are several times. Once a minute.
Remember, nothing is more important than looking busy.
You’re welcome Surry Hills.
