Lifehacks
It’s a common problem: you’re innocently walking down the street, when you see them on the horizon: Charity Street Hustlers. Panic hits. What to do? It’s too late to cross the road.
It’s too transparent to pretend you’ve just received a call.
There they are, kitted out in brightly coloured polos. Resonating a self-righteous confidence born from the suffering of (insert whatever charity).
Not far now. Oh God, one has an outstretched hand wanting to shake mine.
What to do?
Luckily the SHT Lifehackers are here.
It’s frighteningly simple and when you read the following sentence you’ll kick yourself for not thinking of it years earlier. Here it is:
You don’t speak a word of English.
You’re a tourist.
You simply have no idea what they’re saying.
Follow this transcript and far from being intimidated by Charity Street Hustlers, you’ll actively seek them out. Here’s how it goes.
CSH: Hi how’s your day going?
You: No English. I sorry.
Done.
Obviously there are extended versions of this where you can turn the tables and in your chosen mishmash of foreign gibberish you can ask for directions to “Opera Home” or “Big Bridge” or “Bondage Beach” and keep them bailed up for as long as you wish depending on your day’s schedule.
You’re welcome Surry Hills.
