What Peter Beattie has not achieved throughout his life may be achieved in death. The chairman of the ARL commission has received an enormous amount of negative press for his ludacris comments, ill-informed posturing, and complete misunderstanding of the basics of the game including the names of teams. 

But now finally he has sought to reverse that by offering something to the game, admitting that he has sought to pledge his brain to rugby league in death as none of it has been used throughout his life.

Beattie was beside himself with delight at his decision, “Sure I don’t understand the first thing about Rugby, but I’ve always loved the game. I can’t imagine summer without it. Now this is my chance to give a little something back.”

Scientists have conducted initial MRI and CT scans of Beattie’s brain and beg to differ.