Men have long admired and respected and even looked on with envy from afar at women’s ability to multitask.
Men’s collective inability to do the same has haunted them for generations.
But now it seems a 34-year-old Surry Hills man has broken the mould in a first for mankind. “It felt like a very exciting time to be alive” said Ivan Henjak.
The glorious moment occurred on a Wednesday evening at 8:15.
As Ivan settled down to watch ‘Married at First Sight’ he thought he’d catch up on social media with a cup of tea.
It’s then that the magic happened, Ivan not only watched MAFS but also managed to set down a cup of tea while changing his Facebook status to ‘just chillin’.
“A wave of excitement hit me. I knew I was in uncharted territory. I just tried to keep a cool head.”
Unfortunately Mr Henjack got cocky, and from that point everything fell to pieces.
“I got it into my stupid single-tasking head that it would be a good idea to also send out a few tweets, but as I reached for my mobile phone I ended up spilling my cup of tea all over my laptop whilst giving third degree burns to my genitals, destroying my laptop my penis and my dignity in one fell swoop. That’ll learn me,” said Ivan from his hospital bed.
Ivan is currently in St Vincents Burns Unit and is expected to be for weeks.
Mr Henjak is not expected to gain full use of his penis and will additionally require a full skin graft to the surrounding area.
Head of the Burns Unit at St Vincent’s, Professor John Jansen said, “This is a painful albeit important lesson for all men that we can’t multitask. We never have been able to multitask. We never will be able to multitask. Women can multitask. Men cannot. Let’s leave that up to women and stick to single tasking. We weren’t built for it. Sometimes you simply must just respect nature.”
Professor Jansen was walking whilst talking at the time. He tripped, fell down a flight of stairs and broke his neck.
Professor Jansen’s funeral will be held this Friday at St Mary’s Cathedral.
