The competition amongst men to grow a better moustache than their colleagues is savage.

And on the cusp of Movember, a Surry Hills man was beaten recently because of it.

Many are appalled by this, but all men know when it comes to Movember cheating by growing a beard in advance is simply not allowed.

“This wanker got what was coming to him”, said local barista Michael Beattie, 35. “Who does he think he is? I adore my moustache. It took years to cultivate. And I did it from scratch.”

Far from condemning this man’s attackers, the Surry Hills Times chooses to praise them.

If we don’t respect the sanctity of Movember what have we become?

Savages.

Sucked in.
Sucked in.