A man has faced some hard facts on hard rubbish night and a ‘Golf Widow’s’ husband has returned from the dead.
“I gave it I gave her everything I had,” says and inconsolable Bob Cooper as he sits surrounded by his family for the first time in years.
“She’s a cruel mistress. I liken her to a psychotic ex-girlfriend. One moment she’s full of love accommodating your every move and the next she’s a hellraising whore throwing knives at yours genitals for no good reason.”
Mr Cooper hasn’t had a meal with his family for over 12 years since he dedicated himself to becoming a golf professional
“It’s funny, you innocently look at Pinterest for inspirational ideas to build a shed. Next thing you know you found some inspirational quotes. Next thing you know you’re starting to believe you can achieve the unachievable. That was me. I dedicated every waking hour to that bitch of a game when I knew all I had to know right from the start: some may not realise Golf stands for “Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden. What a prick of a game of a game.”
That was two weeks ago. Now Judy Cooper has her husband back and he’s spending a lot more time around the home, picking his toenails, watching Fox Sports and drinking beer on the couch.
Ironically she has just purchased him the latest set of Ping Clubs.
Life and Golf. Cruel mistresses.
