Domestic bliss shattered. A friendship over. A night that ended in bloodshed. And the most innocuous of villains: the common household toilet roll. Ricky Walford and Steve Robinson were childhood friends. They’d been flatmates for the last ten years. In that time friends say, a cancer grew silently between them.
It was all over which way the toilet roll should hang each would silently, quietly flip the roll in their preferred direction thereby feeding a cancer that would eventually result in a near dual homicide.
Interestingly detectives at the scene have seen this before.
“You’d be surprised, this happens all the time. We just got a call on the radio for another toilet roll related stabbing,” said Sergeant Craig Young.
When asked his opinion Sergeant Young was decisive, “There are two types of people in the world: normal people who hang toilet paper in the over position, and sadists who hang it in the under position to make life miserable for themselves and whoever else uses their toilet.”
The Surry Hills Times can reveal there’s a documented correct way to place toilet paper onto the holder — which is in the “over” position. Seriously — the 1891 patent for the toilet paper roll literally states that the end of the roll should be hanging off the exterior.
And there are some serious personality differences between over-people and under-people, like the fact that under-people clearly enjoy the sight of their TP unspooling from the awkward and wrong direction. But aside from the obvious, relationship expert and TV therapist Dr. Gilda Carle created a personality test to tell us exactly what sets the two parties apart.
In the Toilet Paper Personality Test, 2000 people were surveyed on which way they roll their toilet paper, and on how assertive they are in their relationships on a scale of 1 to 10. The results revealed that those “who roll over are more dominant than those who roll under,” meaning they have a Type-A personality. Under-rollers are the opposite, being a member of the more submissive and laid-back niche. Sorry under-rollers, but you’re probably not going to rule to world any time soon.
The study also found that some over-the-roll-people feel so strongly about the orientation of their toilet paper, that they actually admitted to flipping the roll over if they come across a stray under-roll at someone’s house.
And that, ultimately, led to bloodshed last night.
