A local Surry Hills man presented at St Vincent’s emergency department this morning suffering from what the medical community expect to be an epidemic.

As nurses struggled to control his flailing body Billy Noke, 32 screamed madly, “How do I fill the void now?”

The man was immediately treated with reruns of Season 2 Love Island UK

Professor David Waite said, “We expect this to be the first of many cases of withdrawal from MAFS which can of course lead to seizures in more serious instances. We do at this stage ask people not to panic and remind them that bachelor in Paradise we’ll be on our screens soon.”

“People underestimate the addictive nature of watching imbeciles humiliate themselves” said Professor Waite head of the neurological department at St Vincents. “In nature it’s a powerful force. You can’t just expect to walk away from from 11 weeks of MAFS with no repercussions.”