Raw almonds spilling out of small glass bowl
A warning goes out tonight for Surry Hills residents with the distressing news that it’s been confirmed non-activated almonds have been sold and eaten in several cafes throughout Surry Hills.
A support line is being set up to field calls from distressed residents. Clover Moore issued a statement earlier calling for calm at this difficult stage.
“I feel sick just thinking I might have eaten a non-activated almond. It’s really scary, yeah… I mean God, what can I do to me?” said Jacinta, 25.
Yet the medical community insists non-activated almonds do no one any harm. “I genuinely don’t know what the concern is”, said Chief Medical Scientist at the CSIRO Ian Herron. “There is almost no difference between activated and not-activated almonds.”
“Sure the medical community is saying that but what are they hiding? They don’t know what we know: that activated almonds are, like really good, so ipso facto non-activated almonds must be, like bad” said Jacinta.