An intolerable FWP that requires outsourcing: "Umm, excuse me but I've got better things to do," said Steph.
The phrase ‘First World Problems’ gets bandied around, and it must be asked: are we in the East a horribly spoilt and overly privileged bunch? Should our every wish and whim be catered for and met immediately? The answer? Yes. And yes.
The Surry Hills Times has recently witnessed a flood of menial requests on job posting sites like Airtasker that, while ostensibly superficial, are still problems that require fixing.
They range from fishing for change behind couch cushions, to in this instance, untangling headphone cords.
The Surry Hills Times got in contact with ‘Steph S’ one of the individuals responsible for the posts, and far from being First World shamed, her feedback was uncompromising and absolute.
“I shouldn’t have to untangle my headphone cords. Do you know how long that takes? It’s a freaking nightmare. I’ve got things to do better things to do like Insta and updating my Spotify mix for chilled-out Sunday afternoon by-the-pool vibes after a crushing Saturday night. Hello? I can’t do everything! I’m not God.”
Steph and those like her from Sydney’s privileged East see this as a good thing, as a way of spreading the wealth. “I’m just helping out the peasants. They should be grateful.”
It was a matter of minutes after Steph uploaded her post that a young Filipino man arrived at her door at which point he managed to fulfil the assigned task and unknot the cord. In under 90 minutes the job was done.
“I had a power nap on the couch. The next thing you know I was out the door and on my way to a friend’s pool party. I couldn’t have been happier. It’s win win. Sure a few minutes later the cord was tangled again but that’s just another job for Wang, or whoever.”
When the Surry Hills Times pointed out how some would see her comments as horribly racist and elitist she took some time to reflect.
“He was kind of cool actually. Maybe next time I might invite Wang to the pool party. If he can swim he might the lifeguard or something otherwise he can just make us drinks.”
Stephanie referred to the the gentleman who untangled her cord as ‘Wang’. The Surry Hills Times got in contact with the gentleman and, as it turns out his name is actually Wang.
He has one thing to say to Stephanie: “Bluetooth Basic Bitch. Bluetooth. Wang out”.