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Exposed: Local Monster Insists on Drinking From Plastic Straws

It is the year 2019 yet this Surry Hills resident continues to drink from multiple plastic straws in spite of imminent danger to the environment. She is considered dangerous.

An immediate warrant has been issued for her arrest by the NSW Environment Protection Authority. 

Photographs of the unknown offender have been sent to the Surry Hills Times by an anonymous source who does not wish to be named and is currently in fear of his safety.

“If she’s willing to drink from multiple plastic straws what else is she capable of? She clearly has no conscience”, said the terrified man. 

If anyone knows her whereabouts please contact the SHT.