A new craze has women in giddy raptures: Dishwasher Porn – the act of women watching men unstacking dishwashers.
It’s become so popular that that well known pornography sites have begun filming swathes of new content featuring footage of men pulling plates out of dishwashers in slow motion.
Offline, in thousands of homes every day, single women, or groups of girlfriends get together and pay to watch a man unstack the dishwasher.
And women pay good money for it.
Typically a glass of wine and a platter of cheese is shared amongst good friends, then the glasses and platter are placed in the dishwasher, which is turned on. Then the women wait.
Approximately 45 minutes later a man comes over, and the women watch in awe.
“As soon as he unstacks the dishwasher we have another wine, and a plate of cheese.
Sometimes the cycle goes on all day, well into the evening,” said Michelle Connor a Thought Broker with a leading consultancy firm in Surry Hills.
“Men unstacking the dishwasher is incredibly sexy,” said one.
“I didn’t know they could do it,” said another.
Unfortunately for men to take part in Dishwasher Porn they must first learn how to unstack a dishwasher – thankfully a 27 week course is now available.
I spoke to “Totally UnStacked” a Surry Hills based service.
“Some blokes think they can just open up a dishwasher and go for it. No wonder there have been fatalities,” said owner Brad Mackay.
For the brave few, occasionally the act is performed by men in full view of their partners.
“My husband always told me he was physically and mentally incapable of it,” said Natalie Blacklock, 62.
“Now, thanks to dishwasher porn I’ve never felt closer to him.”
We spoke to social commentator Cynthia Holden.
“It’s about time men pulled their weight in the kitchen,” said Holden.
Is it important the man be nude? I asked.
“God no,” said Holden. “It’s not about that. It’s about men finally unstacking the dishwasher. You wouldn’t understand, you’re a man.”
Shortly afterwards Holden threw a cheese platter at this reporter’s person. I was then forced to unstack the dishwasher against my will at knifepoint.
Several dozen plates were broken in the process shortly afterwards.
