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What Dating Profiles Really Mean

Online dating is fraught with danger. There’s deception at every swipe. Surry Hills Times to the rescue! Our resident psychologist has turned her gaze to deciphering what online profiles really mean.

You’re welcome:

Successful = wanker

Sassy = bitchy

Easy going = bludger

Love to laugh = love to drink

Intelligent = think I’m smarter than strangers

Spontaneous = no problem with one night stands

Fun = borderline alcoholic

Loves life = secretly a massive bludger

Princess = nightmare

Independent = only after sex

Strong family values = hard work

Motivated = workaholic

Driven = no friends

Loyal = has cheated

Needs Loyalty = has been cheated on

Enjoys the finer things in life = gold digger

Sophisticated = materialistic

Passionate = will have sex on first date

Loves animals = desperate

Has goals = has no goals

Friends are everything = man hater

Loves to read = can read but doesn’t

Witty = smartarse when pissed

Imaginative = kinky

Ready to settle down = friends have settled down

Love to travel = needs to escape own head

Down to earth = bit dumb

Honest = still bullshit a fair bit

Bubbly = pisshead

Love what I do = buy lottery ticket every week

Attractive = you must be attractive

Chemistry is important = if you are better looking than me we will have sex

Can laugh at myself = clumsy

Confident = arrogant