Ex-PM Malcolm Turnbull has returned to Australia to discover the AirBnB tenants renting out his Point Piper residence have been partying for weeks.
“They have turned the place into a horror show! There’s various bodily fluids smeared on the walls. My kayak has what looks like a human poo inside it.”
Turnbull and his wife Lucy were understandably disgusted.
“My Sangiovese collection has been drained. I’m distraught. But at least it’s in a better state than the Liberal Party.”
Some have been shocked that the independently wealthy Turnbull resorted to such means of income supplementation.
“That’s how I became wealthy, I look to get a quid wherever I can. But it’s bitten me on the arse. “Who are these animals? From the West no doubt. Never been there and I never will.”
