Tony Abbott has thrown his considerable intellectual gravitas behind the ban on cooked onions from our streets.
Mr Abbott today made a passionate statement in parliament, “I believe onions should be eaten the way God intended, and that’s raw, with the skin on.”
Such is Mr Abbott’s conviction that he then visited Alexandria Bunnings and ate a sausage sandwich with absolutely no onion in sight to prove his point.
He openly wept while while doing so. His emotions clearly as raw as the onions he prefers as his tears could not be blamed on freshly cut onions. Onions.
The onion debate continues to rage, with no end in sight. Onions.
Bus loads of protesters have gathered at the gates of onion farms throughout the state with reports of scuffles between farmers and those actively protesting the willful production of what is now widely been called the devil’s vegetable. Onions.
It all began on Monday after Bunnings told all groups staffing the stores’ barbecues to put onions on first.
“Safety is always our No 1 priority and we recently introduced a suggestion that onion be placed underneath sausages to help prevent the onion from falling out and creating a slipping hazard,” said Bunnings’ chief operating officer, Debbie Poole.
The compulsory edict has been provided in the “sausage sizzle welcome pack” to community and charity groups that run the fundraisers. The recommendation is also now on display within the gazebos when barbecues are operating at many of Bunnings’ 290 stores.
Ever since Australians have woken up to the danger of onions.
Protests against the Devil’s Vegetable continue to rage throughout the state.
